I made a big mistake

I thought that I wanted to change my situation because I felt my position was too heavy for me.

So I applied for a department transfer without my boss.

I hoped that something change and rather better than now.

The result, my situation was worse and worse.

I only became a troubled and foolish person at work.

Maybe if I make a good grade in the future, I never get a promotion.

I made a big mistake this time. so I write down this mistake.

My mistake

There are three causes that I made mistakes.

• I tried to run away
• I expected other people and companies
• I didn't believe my own

Let's see every single cause.

I tried to run away

I had thought that I wanted to change my situation.

I thought applying for a department transfer was one of the actions to change.

But it wasn't a good action, it was only an escape.

Words on the street, people say "You should run away from what you hate" or "You can live what you prefer because of your life".

Other, people say "You shouldn't work seriously".

They are half-correct, and half-wrong.

There are no responsibilities in their words. All responsibilities are mine.

It's embarrassing to run away, but it's only useful in dramas.

The real world isn't. I stand the front of trouble, so there's a meaning and grow up.

I expected other people and companies

I believe this was the most foolish mistake.

I depended on another person without I know.

Whatever I do and whenever I do, I shouldn't hope for another person.

Even if it's my family, they're other.

The people of companies are even no longer the same human as me.

Everyone is only thinking about themself.

It's not a bad meaning. I'm not going to say badly.

In the current era, everyone is necessarily so.

If I want to change anything, I only can change my actions and my thinking.

I didn't believe my own

I thought I couldn't change my working situation.

Honesty, I think so now too.

I don't have any talented skills. I'm not tough and smart. I hate myself.

But even if it's all true, I must act and live my life.

So even if I'm very suck and very bad, if all people around me make mad at me, if I'm embarrassed or run away, I have to do something for myself.

That means, believe me for myself.

About in my future

I don't know.

I have no plan.

But I'll be in trouble in the future.