<h2 id="h28b6c20165">I&apos;m going to work on improving my pronunciation skill as well.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/60bd21c0ca6846b58797a25a49052c07/pexels-shvetsa-4226256.jpg" alt="" width="6240" height="4160"></figure>I take advantage of company&apos;s benefits for an online English conversation lesson.I&apos;m eligible to have an opportunity for online lessons thanks to my friend from overseas.The more I speak English, the more I can fluently speak English and clearly listen to English.<div style="left: 0; width: 100%; height: 0; position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mylmFPnRsVc?rel=0" style="top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0;" allowfullscreen scrolling="no" allow="accelerometer *; clipboard-write *; encrypted-media *; gyroscope *; picture-in-picture *; web-share *;"></iframe></div><h2 id="h3c39a207a4">I&apos;m not confident, but perhaps lessons make sense.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/d819723be77a47ec89a4b981100340d8/pexels-julia-m-cameron-4145190.jpg" alt="" width="7360" height="4912"></figure>I think talking with my American friend is very fun.If I can work at overseas, I&apos;ll experience both negative and positive things.Unfortunately, that possibility may be not high.I&apos;m not sure that my English skill is helpful in the future.And I&apos;m not sure that I can travel or work in any foreign countries.After all, I only do it because I don&apos;t know anything about future.

I'll start an online English conversation next month.

<h2 id="h8a3517fc6d">I&apos;m not satisfied at all.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/1f6977b5e3904299b49b0d9f178a57a4/pexels-element5-1370295.jpg" alt="" width="5931" height="3959"></figure>I&apos;m still a beginner in English and I can&apos;t speak English fluently as well.I had heard that recent TOEIC exam was very tough.Unfortunetally, that rumor was true.Therefore, I wasn&apos;t confident when I finished taking the exam.My target score was 600 over.I think this score is extremely common or lower.However, I was so glad and relieved when I confirmed my score for the first time.Because my final score was over 600.<h2 id="h762f8457ba">I&apos;m going to continue to learn my second language.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/062bcf317d3549f1ab26b538874167e8/pexels-geralt-21696.jpg" alt="" width="5472" height="3072"></figure>I want a certificate of CISSP someday.So I&apos;m also going to learn both cyber security and English same time.Even if I can speak English fluently and completely, it&apos;s not enough for my career and engineer&apos;s life.I need two useful weapons.I must invest my time for my next goals for a while.However, I&apos;m really busy because I have to work every weekday and take care of my family every weekend.So I need to reduce what I have to do for earning study time from now.I&apos;m thinking of it.

I achieved my objectives of the TOEIC exam for the first time.

<h2 id="hc9a9efe27e">I never expect a high score this time at all</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/69e02824aaab489a9ecc9d9e79fad569/pexels-lum3n-44775-167682.jpg" alt="" width="5676" height="3784"></figure>The TOEIC exam for the first time was so tough for me.To be honest, I didn&apos;t hoped myself at least than I took an exam.I completely understood to not be able to accurately answer all questions.And I couldn&apos;t listen to conversations clearly.That means I picked up a part of sounds.Therefore, I could acknowledge a lack of skills throughout the TOEIC exam.Now that I think this was a good opportunity for my next perspective.<h2 id="h470c55718c">Both IT and English are never end</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/00d6eda8b8b04f4ca6742000393c1320/pexels-olly-3756042.jpg" alt="" width="5960" height="3930"></figure>I probably continue to study English.I want to learn 4 basis skills, Listening, Reading, Writing, Speaking.However, it&apos;s not enough English skill only.<h2 id="h65190eb9a7">Training until Die</h2>That&apos;s my life.

I took the TOEIC exam on June 22th

<h2 id="hb2ca3ad5e6">I try to live up to expectations from around people regarding of my circumstance.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/53eefb6cd00946b2bbdf80d7909e9e9d/pexels-elijahsad-4066041.jpg" alt="" width="3895" height="5842"></figure>I&apos;ve already got a lot of what I should do.However, I accepted a new work from my coworker.This is completely my mistake.I think I&apos;m challenging some sort of somethings anytime.At same time, I feel like escaping from my circumstance.And challenging is not bad thing at all.Maybe I&apos;m not good at living.<h2 id="h20f0342936">I&apos;m bad at resting.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/002cdff8d731452387a577acee78f919/pexels-cottonbro-6538613.jpg" alt="" width="4369" height="6553"></figure>I feel I have no time for my next career because I&apos;m already a middle age.Perhaps, this feeling is correct.So I feel that I have to do something like skill up and learning new technologies anytime.There are lots of people who have unique and exceptional skills. Plus, they are young than me.<h2 id="h75c5d58acd">My hobby changed into learning skills.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/387dffb7d3e048dc87c22928055045f2/pexels-maggie-zhan-144531-1698485.jpg" alt="" width="5404" height="3758"></figure>In fact, I don&apos;t want to do anything for my coworkers.However, I can&apos;t reject my coworker&apos;s expectations.Because I need to learn new technologies and get a new skill.That&apos;s why I&apos;m busy day after day.Given that I need to look after my kids until they grow up, it makes sense to work hard.I have to do a lightning talk after three weeks.Whether this is a good opportunity or waste time, I don&apos;t know yet.

I have to do presentation despite nothing any ideas.

<h2 id="h3e0675610c">I listen native sounds all days, but I don&apos;t improve my listening skills.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/50a73586471e46f29ddb8fd2f80c58ba/pexels-andrea-piacquadio-941555.jpg" alt="" width="7680" height="5120"></figure>I tried to take a tentative exam for TOEIC on YouTube.<div style="left: 0; width: 100%; height: 0; position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KJn95bQUH50?rel=0" style="top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0;" allowfullscreen scrolling="no" allow="accelerometer *; clipboard-write *; encrypted-media *; gyroscope *; picture-in-picture *; web-share *;"></iframe></div>As a result, I didn&apos;t understand about a half of audio between part 1 and part 4.Although I&apos;ve been keeping studying English in my holidays and free times, I was reluctant to my talent.I wonder this problem will resolve some day if I continue to learn English consistently.<h2 id="h0b305a232e">Can I obtain the certificate of CISSP in English for my next career?</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/def3a56e850d4ca081eee62311de3c23/pexels-pixabay-256417.jpg" alt="" width="4261" height="2374"></figure>I want a certificate of cybersecurity fields.So I also learn about it&apos;s technologies at same time.I only have a limited time for my next career because I&apos;m already 40 years old soon.I can&apos;t remain a novice or an apprentice.<div style="left: 0; width: 100%; height: 0; position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBWtqdU3k7c?rel=0" style="top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0;" allowfullscreen scrolling="no" allow="accelerometer *; clipboard-write *; encrypted-media *; gyroscope *; picture-in-picture *; web-share *;"></iframe></div>

I lose my confidence for TOEIC.

<h2 id="h36e12f6deb">I feel that I need very so long time to fluently have a conversation with my friend from overseas.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/09e4788928454a4a9aa8d98e9027ff95/pexels-wildlittlethingsphoto-1015568.jpg" alt="" width="5472" height="3648"></figure>I&apos;ve been using a variety of smartphone applications for learning language.I&apos;ve been watching a lot of English audio videos with Youtube for improving my listening skills.Certainly, I&apos;ve significantly understood vocubrary, grammer and sentence more than when I started to study English.However, I can&apos;t imagine that I have a conversation with any native speakers yet.Maybe, I think I&apos;m not time enough.<h2 id="h3f1a1b6f5f">Having a conversation with English only isn&apos;t enough.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/21418376bbdf426c8af126621148e93e/pexels-pixabay-163444.jpg" alt="" width="5076" height="2855"></figure>Even if I can understand English completely, that&apos;s just a start line.Because all kind of technology field markets are looking for human resources as an engineer who has some sort of accomplished technical skills.That means, even if I completely understand English as same as native speakers, I only stand a startline.<h2 id="h249e3c98e8">So I continue to learn about new technologies same time.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/75e43b4ffb134dc1b840bc4ab27413bc/pexels-luis-gomes-166706-546819.jpg" alt="" width="4288" height="2848"></figure>That technology is the cybersecurity.Fortunately, I could obtain an opportunity in charge of cybersecurity from a current workplace.I don&apos;t still understand enough technologies regarding cybersecurity feilds.It might be hard to learn both English and cybersecurity at same time.But I have to do for my life, family and career.

I wonder I can take advantage of speaking English someday.

<h2 id="hc6ece68ef6">I wanna show my output early.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/0d03624b936e4ca5ae6f3e5347227acd/pexels-ivan-samkov-4458554.jpg" alt="" width="6240" height="4160"></figure>I had already decided to improve a specific aspect of our system.I needed to negotiate with my upper management about what I should do.However, I wasn&apos;t successful in my negotiations regarding my work.The upper management asked me to research current issues in our organization including the sales departments.I don&apos;t think the sales department&apos;s members know a kind of security issues in details.They aren&apos;t specialists of cyber security.

I'm not still useful to help our development organization improve cyber security.

<h2 id="he317c38434">My workload in this year exceeded over my capability.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/002cdff8d731452387a577acee78f919/pexels-cottonbro-6538613.jpg" alt="" width="4369" height="6553"></figure>I&apos;ve been actively dealing with something new technologies and attending study meetings.I&apos;ve been continuing to learn English every shingle day since two years ago.I&apos;ve been taking care of my kids every weekends.I&apos;ve been volunteering for a big tech conference on October 25th.I mistake estimates regarding with my lifestyle this year.<h2 id="ha3c54bef59">I can&apos;t stop ongoing projects and missions.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/50a73586471e46f29ddb8fd2f80c58ba/pexels-andrea-piacquadio-941555.jpg" alt="" width="7680" height="5120"></figure>I&apos;m so sleepy while working at noon.I often fall asleep after brushing my teeth without studying English at midnight.Maybe, I think I&apos;m tired.

I regret that I have lots of what I should have to do.

<h2 id="h648e6eed6e">I was so sleepy this afternoon.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/2a83953f13594b5880f2fed86651f783/pexels-catscoming-674577.jpg" alt="" width="7360" height="4912"></figure>Although I didn&apos;t have lunch today, I couldn&apos;t maintain my focus this afternoon.So I worked while standing.I was keenly aware that I needed about 15 minutes of sleep.I usually stay up to study English and read textbooks.I don&apos;t get enough sleep every day.I know that&apos;s not good, but I want to prioritize learning over sleeping.<h2 id="he00027888d">I&apos;m interested in immersion.</h2>I&apos;m going to try to immerse myself for as long as possible. I consistently listen to English podcasts and read English sentences.<a href="https://www.allearsenglish.com/episodes/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://www.allearsenglish.com/episodes/</a>

I definitely need to take a nap after lunch.

<h2 id="h54b23433a0">My objective is over 600 score this time.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/0a449db95d7c44f785ceed398d754346/pexels-pixabay-159581.jpg" alt="" width="5472" height="3648"></figure>Is my objective too low?In fact, I&apos;m not confident at all.I&apos;ve been endeavouring to study while working and taking care of my kids.To be honest, I wanted to play video games and create my own website.But, I&apos;ve been into English since I felt that I needed language skills for my career.<h2 id="h36fd720931">This is one of investments for me.</h2>I don&apos;t know yet if I can become fluent in English.And I don&apos;t know yet whether my language skills will be helpful for my career.Some people may object to learning English.<h2 id="h767ea46ebd">My first exam day is the 22th of June at Sunday.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/69e02824aaab489a9ecc9d9e79fad569/pexels-lum3n-44775-167682.jpg" alt="" width="5676" height="3784"></figure>I&apos;m going to work on improving my listening skills for a while because I still don&apos;t completely understand English audio.I have limited time until my exam day.Furthermore, I have many things to do.Because I&apos;m in charge of security for our organization, so I have to keep up with new security technologies.On the other hand, I have to prepare for a big tech conference on the October 25th as a staff member.I&apos;ll be busy.

I finally applied for my first TOEIC exam.

<h2 id="h5c756f3761">I&apos;m already 38 years old this year.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/ddf7a99fbcae4ef0b71fc1a1c944a735/pexels-cottonbro-4065624.jpg" alt="" width="2832" height="4240"></figure>I&apos;m willing to learn new skills for my career all times.(I have my feeling to play games a little too...)So I think studying English and Security is a big meaning for me.At same time, I also feel it&apos;s late.<h2 id="h6ddb5e3beb">I attended a study meeting of the next career for forty generations.</h2>A career adviser said &quot;Job changes for forty years old are so difficult more and more recently.&quot;.We have to inform someone to our own stories about our work.We&apos;re thought by social societies that no wonder we can know and use a variet of technologies and knowledges.I wonder I have my story.And I wonder I can obtain new skills from learning something.<h2 id="hd9aa547b35">I&apos;ve read this article again.</h2><a href="https://note.com/adlersalon/n/ne56258709b51" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">Life isn&apos;t hard, you make it hard.</a>However, this article isn&apos;t written regarding age.That means, nobody knows the correct answer.On the opposite, the correct answer may doesn&apos;t exist wherever.

How should I consider next my career?

<h2 id="hab898fe907">Where should I head from now?</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/9ff9519f565742138b2ad6f838e93718/pexels-olly-3760072.jpg" alt="" width="6000" height="4000"></figure>This is very commonly story for middle workers in Japan.I haven&apos;t coded recently.But I&apos;m not a manager. I always see spreadsheets and asana&apos;s tasks.But I&apos;m not a project manager. I&apos;m in charge of improving security for the development organizations.But I&apos;m not a security engineer.I need to promote my own member to a leader class.But I&apos;m not an engineering manager.What type of engineering skills do I have?How levels could I grow up ever?Where should I head to as some sort of engineer?<h2 id="h4dec2c8df5">If I have three skills, I may be an unique worker.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/8564cd52b8794b459e9315b5d4d4c27c/pexels-pixabay-48148.jpg" alt="" width="3008" height="2000"></figure>I heard every businessman should have their own three tags.A tag is one of a variety of skills.If you have only one tag, you&apos;re very very common person.Unfortunately, you&apos;re not attractive.But If you have three tag, you&apos;d become an unique person.That means, alternatives of you don&apos;t exist in dedicated industries at least.I want to go there.<h2 id="hb2ba64c3ce">Of a lot of skills, I should have which skills.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/ddb924cc04c143978febb69b8b597efd/pexels-pixabay-159644.jpg" alt="" width="1920" height="1274"></figure>Of course, one of my three tags is English skills.I don&apos;t still have it, but I definitely obtain it some day.The other one of my three tags is Secure skills.I&apos;ve actually practiced threat modeling once and I think I can change a development process into a shift left.The last one of my three tags is belonging with an OSS community.My activity through its community is so helpful for getting much information and corporation with another job workers.

In effort to work although, I'm not confident regarding my career.

<h2 id="h38056c3b24">It&apos;s not only good things.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/80068df39b694ccf99af27129074dfe8/pexels-download-a-pic-donate-a-buck-8721-48566.jpg" alt="" width="4945" height="3296"></figure>I can&apos;t leave my family anytime.I have to work with anyone.I&apos;m consistently spending a lot of time with someone day after day.But I sometimes want to spend time solely.Maybe I have no ills regarding my mental and physical health.I can sleep and eat enough so far. And I can smile.<h2 id="h3c16e7982b">Someone who I can&apos;t see says &quot;Be careful.&quot; to me.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/a3b02cd79cd84ffe9921cdcec92f695e/pexels-sebastiaan-stam-1480690.jpg" alt="" width="6708" height="4472"></figure>I must stop doing weird behavior and using abnormal words.I think another one in my head alerts me of bad news when I want to spend time solely.He tells me that you&apos;re in a mistake direction, so you look at yourself right now.This is Inside Head.<h2 id="h6468bc1460">I&apos;m going to try along with him in my head for a while.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/0d03624b936e4ca5ae6f3e5347227acd/pexels-ivan-samkov-4458554.jpg" alt="" width="6240" height="4160"></figure>Which is correct between me and another me?Although both are me.

I sometimes don't want to talk with anyone.

<h2 id="hfe336b9958">I liked Ichi&apos;s killer site</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/6991e8f869d54d1da8d4f591127fb742/pexels-tranmautritam-326514.jpg" alt="" width="5184" height="3456"></figure>While a little time, I had a super negative season when I was younger.I had disliked myself for some time and I had felt the living wasn&apos;t completely even unnecessary.However, I could meet a kind of website.That website&apos;s name was &quot;<a href="http://ww71.tiki.ne.jp/~ichi/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">Ichi&apos;s Killer Site</a>&quot;.By the way, updates are already stopping.I don&apos;t know when updates stopped.There&apos;s also no BBS.<h2 id="h673c3c2f52">Deadman</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/b46bcbf51e7b40038edab488ffdf7ed3/deadman_x02.jpg" alt="" width="234" height="234"></figure>The Deadman killed himself instead of me several times.He was smiling consistently when he even died.This was his characteristic and individuality.He had known several ways to die. Furthermore, he never hesitated to die.<figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/5a441c2d84c444119ac088e508bafae5/deadman_x05.jpg" alt="" width="234" height="234"></figure>And now, I have become positive a little as an adult.I sometimes encounter mentalizing heavy experiences at workplaces and in private.Eventually, I often lose my consideration for my family.But I recover one day, why?I feel like he lives in my heart.<hr><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/9c30a63550c44f9b8d5b1b2ab98d9fe6/deadman_t01.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="400"></figure><blockquote>You don&apos;t need a reason to live.It&apos;s okay to worry.It&apos;s no good to worry too much.It&apos;s fun to be alone.If you raise your feet, you can move forward.It&apos;s up to you to decide, always and only you.But when it gets really tough, no one will help you.So it&apos;s okay, you don&apos;t have to rely on anyone.I finally realized.</blockquote><blockquote>いきていくのに　りゆうなんて　いらないなやんでも いいなやみすぎるのは　だめだひとりでも　たのしいあしをあげれば　まえに　すすめるきめるのは　じぶん　いつだって　じぶんだけでも　ほんとうにつらいときは　だれも　たすけてくれないだからいいんだ　だれにもたよらないやっと　さとった</blockquote>Thank you for Deadman. Please sleep silently.

The end of one era.

<h2 id="h5e1ac0ebe2">I&apos;m in charge of thinking of events participants can enjoy</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/0b268fe7af3049718a7630a258cd09d4/pexels-wolfgang-1002140-2747449.jpg" alt="" width="4000" height="2670"></figure>I&apos;m supposed to participate in the next tech conference as a member of staff on October 25th.Furthermore, I&apos;m in charge of thinking of enjoyable events this year too.To be honest, I&apos;ve regretted a little about last year&apos;s events.I want everyone to enjoy the next events more and more.<h2 id="h8deff604f8">I have ideas so far</h2>it&apos;s still an imagination phase though, I think it&apos;s fun.<h3 id="hfa4800bd49">The panel discussion for leaders of OSS groups</h3>We can collaborate with the other OSS groups in the future.Even if we use different technologies, we should have the same feeling that we want to improve technologies in Japan.<h3 id="ha46ff2bf36">After collecting marks, they can challenge to Gachapon</h3>Gachapon is a traditional Japanese toy. (maybe)So everyone must be like it.<h3 id="h1571af1f01">Vue thunder</h3>This is a chocolate has a green color.Of course, everyone must be like it too. (no confident)<h3 id="h3e7586a38c">The first step of the career as OSS contributors</h3>Many software engineers who want to know how to contribute to OSS will be coming here.Predecessors can help them proceed in their careers.<h2 id="h7ef241549e">I&apos;ll be busy soon</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/108de134d8f54861aba5a70b91b58cc6/pexels-thisisengineering-3861958.jpg" alt="" width="7952" height="5304"></figure>My private activity has already started in January.That means I have to work hard from now.However, I think this is for myself.I believe my private activity helps me forge my career.And I believe my English skills will be helpful at the next tech conference.

interesting events for the next tech conference

<figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/9cbb83cfd08243459651e9f5dfe14e91/pexels-pixabay-355863.jpg" alt="" width="5472" height="3648"></figure>I have a lot of wasted time in my life.I read a comic that I didn&apos;t need to.I bought a garment that I didn&apos;t need to.I browsed at a game shop where I didn&apos;t need to.I watched YouTube videos that I didn&apos;t need to....Do you think we need some wasted something in our life?Unfortunately, I think the answer is yes.<h2 id="h4ad64b07ce">However, I think I can reduce the wasted time.</h2>I figure that I can effectively spend wasted time.I read a comic to learn English sentences and how to use words.I bought a garment to learn in a comfortable situation.I browsed at a game shop to play video games with English subtitles.I watched YouTube videos to know a variable advice from another learners.<h2 id="he61d946565">All are nutrition.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/1c0e539ad1c24718ab7a385b60f2a43f/pexels-ella-olsson-572949-1640777.jpg" alt="" width="4288" height="2859"></figure>There&apos;s definitely many wasted time.However, we can generate some knowledge from wasted time.I want to believe this time isn&apos;t wasted.

Focus on promptly what I should do.

<h2 id="h664545c394">I still don&apos;t decide what I want to work in the future.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/19f030c6594a42a4bc072ea72f4247ae/pexels-hillaryfox-1595385.jpg" alt="" width="3000" height="2000"></figure>I want to talk with native English speakers.I want another weapon in addition to my technology skills as a software engineer.That&apos;s why I started learning English last year.But I haven&apos;t decided on my next job. I have no idea so far.should I have an obvious goal for my career? Eventually, I have no idea about it.But, in fact, I have industries where I want to work at.I&apos;m interested in the video game industry such as Nintendo and Bethesda.<h2 id="h0f33c8e58a">I wonder if I want to go abroad. (???)</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/e4019c1585744f0aa19ec6b70403340c/pexels-didsss-2065476.jpg" alt="" width="6000" height="4000"></figure>No, It&apos;s too late.Someone may say &quot;It&apos;s not late. Now, you&apos;re the most young in your life.&quot;.(No... maybe not...)So I want to be a translator in the software industry.Although I can&apos;t imagine the details of a translator.<hr>I don&apos;t mind even if I walk on the wrong roads.I had already made many mistakes over 37 years old.Time to go.

What kind of works with using English?

<figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/062bcf317d3549f1ab26b538874167e8/pexels-geralt-21696.jpg" alt="" width="5472" height="3072"></figure>That&apos;s almost the end of this year. So I think I describe my objectives next year.<h2 id="h86e333a5bb">1. I definitely take a TOEIC exam and I get a score of over 600.</h2>I&apos;m going to take an exam in July or June. maybe.<h2 id="h643276bf07">2. I&apos;ll contribute to Nuxt and related OSS.</h2>As a programmer, I want to contribute to development.Plus I&apos;ll write a tech blog and share it with my coworkers.<h2 id="h02ed951281">3. I write over six technical blogs.</h2>I think I have enough seed of articles this year.For instance, Security, Frontend, English, and Conference.<h2 id="h39fde1f0ae">4. I present some technologies at study meetings.</h2>Outputs are the best of inputs for anyone.I&apos;ll implement over three presentations this year at study meetings offline.<h2 id="h2e22bc88c6">5. I attend as one of the staff at Vue Fes 2025.</h2>I won&apos;t make a mistake any more next time.And I guide in English clearly for foreign participants.<h2 id="h2569bddacf">6. I meet a foreign friend in Japan.</h2>I&apos;m going to have a conversation with him in English.And I&apos;ll take him away to a traditional Japanese restaurant.<h2 id="hb1fa707cff">7. I work out with running and I get my muscle.</h2>My physical is already old.I want to recover my physical condition.<h2 id="hb6582d9e4c">8. I&apos;m going to change my hair color from black to silver or gray.</h2>I resist time and age.<h2 id="h31174bf68a">9. I draw some tattoos on my arms.</h2>But I won&apos;t let someone see my tattoos. It&apos;s for me.<h2 id="h6c2aa263ca">10. I completely clean up in my house.</h2>I dispose of some unnecessary items.A lot of toys aren&apos;t used by my kids and wife anything.<hr><h3 id="h6d21e51e92">My life is changing a bit.</h3><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/e3d43018ade04fbebe65cb11993ba569/pexels-pixabay-269323.jpg" alt="" width="5184" height="3456"></figure>Because I&apos;m starting new several things now.I hadn&apos;t thought of continuing to study English by now.I wasn&apos;t good at English. but now I didn&apos;t.I want to earn more money with my English and technology skills.Especially, I need time.

My objectives in 2025

Today&apos;s daily is short.<h2 id="h7362f1481b">I&apos;m exhausted.</h2>There were lots of activities every day.It&apos;s not work though, I haven&apos;t had any holiday on the weekends.I moved my body too much.

My capacity was over recently.

<h2 id="h29c0841704">I listen at 1.5x speed.</h2><div style="left: 0; width: 100%; height: 0; position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/z7MlAnd1Nb8?rel=0" style="top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0;" allowfullscreen scrolling="no" allow="accelerometer; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share;"></iframe></div>2x speed is too fast for me.So I&apos;m going to listen at 1.5x speed while I commute.Do you think what is changing my listening skills after 3 months?I&apos;m looking forward to improving my listening skills.<h2 id="h2414235356">I&apos;m going to listen to this starting tomorrow.</h2><div style="left: 0; width: 100%; height: 0; position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/fmJmO0iijpA?rel=0" style="top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0;" allowfullscreen scrolling="no" allow="accelerometer; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share;"></iframe></div>

I listen at 1.5x speed

<h2 id="hfd7890edf0">I&apos;m so exhausted and very very fun.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/ce625ed4f5214f6b9af64730a3f09f36/pexels-jibarofoto-2833037.jpg" alt="" width="6240" height="4160"></figure>I went to <a href="https://vuefes.jp/2024/en" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">the tech conference</a> as a member of staff.For 8 or 9 months, I have prepared for this conference.I was so nervous the previous day.I was the charge of the reception desk that day.The reception was so hard because the participants were over 450 and all visitors were over 700.I made a few mistakes but the tech conference was a great success.Next time, I decide to recover from my mistakes. This is my next object at the next tech conference.<h2 id="h4d71a62a30">My other goals for next year</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/ef4a4062b0164c7385872c746a2bb545/pexels-enginakyurt-1552617.jpg" alt="" width="7952" height="5304"></figure>I want to become better at English than before year.So I&apos;m going to take an exam in TOEIC next year.First of all, I&apos;ll give a shot over 600 scores.And I want to present at the conference as a speaker.So I&apos;m going to work on new technologies of FrontEnd.Second of all, I&apos;ll give a shot to become a speaker.

The tech conference

<h2 id="hec9e54846b">I know various descriptions of sleeping</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/49f32f0d559e4f029f8ad7311dcdcb9c/pexels-olly-3768582.jpg" alt="" width="5760" height="3840"></figure>I read a <a href="https://amzn.asia/d/9z8exAT" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">book</a> about to become a short sleeper last year.That book says &quot;Sleeping time a day is three enough.&quot; and &quot;You can spend another time effectivity on your hobbies and learning.&quot;.I thought so good when I read that book for the first time.because I didn&apos;t have enough free time every day for my work and childcare.So I try to stay awake at night.I&apos;m used to staying awake at midnight now.But I wanted to study although I sometimes fell asleep early instead.<h2 id="hec2d21231c">I really want to sleep about eight hours</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/9450b9da5a8843ffa99e50aaad7d4be9/pexels-kha-ruxury-287153-1294284.jpg" alt="" width="5184" height="3456"></figure>I usually let my kids sleep until 9 pm every weekend.I start to study downstairs when my kids fall asleep.But I sometimes fall asleep with my kids.After all, I woke up at 8 am the next morning.That means I spent over 8 hours sleeping.That one day, I felt so good and my health was very good although I couldn&apos;t study enough.One famous person says &quot;Removal sleeping time is ridiculous.&quot;.Another person says &quot;Sleeping time a day is three enough.&quot;.Which is true? Is both true? Does it depend on me? I&apos;m suspicious of both.<h2 id="h20f6b63414">Sleep OR Awake</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/8abd08605cd945f4b1d8d8a3d5a4b1cc/pexels-pixabay-39396.jpg" alt="" width="3056" height="2304"></figure>I&apos;m happy if I can sleep when I want to sleep.I want to live like that someday.But I have to stick it out responsible for the work.I can&apos;t stand in the way of someone because of me.So I won&apos;t give it a shot... Is it okay?No, I want to change my life and condition.So I&apos;ll find out how to get my free time.

Should I give up on being a short sleeper?

<h2 id="hb6a7b553bf">That means I want both...</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/e287125f10674c00bf9d88ac7d647e78/pexels-george-dolgikh-551816-1326947.jpg" alt="" width="5080" height="3387"></figure>I have an important role in that I take my team to goals.If I want to achieve my goals, I have to study new technologies.But I want to study English too.If I can speak English fluently, I&apos;ll change my job to a new job that needs my English skills.I was in trouble about which things were important all day.And I found one of the various answers. That means I should get both.<h2 id="hede9fb4190">I have no power to keep learning.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/8d8ff1016e8b41739548722c7a86ef1f/pexels-andrea-zanon-125322077-28594539.jpg" alt="" width="2500" height="1667"></figure>But I&apos;m not already younger.I often fall asleep while sitting on my chair.Even now, I feel so sleepy...After all, I spent 3 days to finish writing this blog.Because I slept in the middle of writing.I read a <a href="https://amzn.asia/epTRF2H" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">book</a> about becoming a short sleeper before.But I didn&apos;t become it.<h2 id="ha54112ca7e">Is there really my motivation?</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/00d6eda8b8b04f4ca6742000393c1320/pexels-olly-3756042.jpg" alt="" width="5960" height="3930"></figure>I&apos;m tired of work and childcare, that&apos;s true.Because of that, I can&apos;t study English and new technologies anymore, and that&apos;s not true.As a businessperson and as a parent, everyone is busy, I&apos;m not the only one.In that situation, I think there are lots of people who work hard and get results.I don&apos;t give up. I don&apos;t lose myself. I don&apos;t stop moving.<hr>OK, I wonder if I play Skyrim tonight.Next time, I may write a blog about Skyrim. lol

I'm going to keep learning English, but I'm also going to study new technologies.

<h2 id="h5229f6cf82">I have to learn many things as a businessman and a person.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/e287125f10674c00bf9d88ac7d647e78/pexels-george-dolgikh-551816-1326947.jpg" alt="" width="5080" height="3387"></figure>I want to study English more.because I think this is useful for my career and my hobby.But English isn&apos;t necessary for my current work so far.And my boss is requesting other things from me.I know I need to learn new technologies.Because I&apos;m a software engineer. (Every job needs to continue learning something.)<hr>To be honest, I want to play video games too.Then I even spend lots of time for my kids.I need to rest for my health and mental safety.How should I spend my time on everything?I look for the best answer.<h2 id="h639a62d8b2">What if he sees me, what he says?</h2>I often remember the words of Alfred Adler when I was in trouble.<a href="https://note.com/adlersalon/n/ne56258709b51">https://note.com/adlersalon/n/ne56258709b51</a>I&apos;m not going to run away somewhere.I always look at my current own.I know I&apos;m not enough.<figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/6786497e3fe046e5941fff3d650bac17/pexels-yan-krukau-7640742.jpg" alt="" width="6000" height="4000"></figure>I may be making a big mistake now.But I don&apos;t think that I do no action anymore.I&apos;m afraid around.

Which learning should I study?

<h2 id="h560d2b66d3">I&apos;m scared of insects</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/76858004413f43e38952c6757339c7b6/pexels-pixabay-121472.jpg" alt="" width="1920" height="1283"></figure>I wasn&apos;t really good at insects since I was a kid.I can&apos;t touch insects and even dislike to see them.I especially hate insects that have feathers because they hit me while flying.But ladybugs were only OK to me.To be honest, I prefer summer to winter, but I hate insects.I want to get over disliking insects.And as a father, I want to be a hero to my son.<h2 id="hc3a0d70e60">It seems like there is how to get over insects</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/6f0b9e5fd0b845868bcfa31204e3ccb6/pexels-pixabay-34487.jpg" alt="" width="4752" height="3168"></figure>I looked for how to get over and I found it.It seems there are several steps.<ol><li>First of all, to know about insects.</li><li>Second of all, to look at insects.</li><li>Third of all, to touch from starting small insects.</li></ol>So I started to watch videos of insect-type YouTubers.<div style="left: 0; width: 100%; height: 0; position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yi3S-meyVOw?rel=0" style="top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0;" allowfullscreen scrolling="no" allow="accelerometer; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share;"></iframe></div>They can touch all insects with their hands and even they eat insects.Although I admire them, I can&apos;t understand to eat insects.But they can do it and I may be able to do it.I wonder if I&apos;m challenged to touch insects with gloves.

I want to get over insects!!

<h2 id="hb662539fd4">I went to the beach for the first time in three years.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/a4df4b5f3ded4f8d8e8520b571e665d5/pexels-asadphoto-457878.jpg" alt="" width="3828" height="2552"></figure>Anyway, I had a lot of fun on <a href="https://www.ibarakiguide.jp/spot.php?mode=detail&amp;code=918" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">the beach</a>.I may have had more fun than my son.I&apos;m glad I touched cold seawater, rode on the big wave, and got a little sunburn.I was able to refresh my feelings and my physical.Spending time to play games is also a good time, but Feeling nature in the sea is an important time too.I needed to forget various things. Especially, I wanted to be far from working.But I&apos;m not a smart business person. I&apos;m sorry around me.<hr><h2 id="h40241a46aa">Could I motivated by myself?</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/50a73586471e46f29ddb8fd2f80c58ba/pexels-andrea-piacquadio-941555.jpg" alt="" width="7680" height="5120"></figure>I&apos;m always living in the common life.Every single day is a common life.I work on weekdays, I rest on holidays.No, I&apos;m not resting on holiday, right?Because I need to take care of my kids.　I&apos;m tired. But I&apos;m trying to think I&apos;m not tired.That&apos;s for work. However, I really don&apos;t want to think about it.I&apos;m a liar.What do I work for? What do I live for?Could I continue to work until my kids become an adult?

I had a lot of fun at the beach

<h2 id="h55a729246f">I don&apos;t hard work at all but I&apos;m tired all day.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/5bc5c4b9bac04bddae72f8f90f877019/pexels-pixabay-271897.jpg" alt="" width="3075" height="2038"></figure>I always feel so sleepy at night.I fell asleep for 3 hours yesterday.Of course, I wasn&apos;t going to sleep for 3 hours.I wanted to study a language for skills up.But I slept until three and I slept 1 hour again after I got up in the morning.I missed a lot of time for studying.......zzz...zzzZZZ( ﾟдﾟ)!<h2 id="h19ae2b481e">I streamed an interesting movie to keep awake on purpose.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/4c6d77d34f2f46fc9c1fab1a19e87a66/pexels-jeshoots-com-147458-1040160.jpg" alt="" width="5400" height="3600"></figure>I have been watching movies lately while I&apos;ve been studying English.I need to focus and awaken those movies.But I never recommend this my way.This is a dead or alive for my life.I definitely change my work style with my English someday.Learning is fun, and it suffers at the same time.

I can't continue to wake up at night lately

<h2 id="h45953f5f58">I&apos;ve been losing control of my mind and my actions lately.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/2e3d749d0ac249579f5d84769b0fb4d8/pexels-arthurbrognoli-2440530.jpg" alt="" width="5472" height="3648"></figure>I made a big mistake last week.And I almost made a mistake bigger than last week.I completely lost careful.I think that I&apos;m so ridiculous. I&apos;m sorry to live. I&apos;m the worst.I never have to get a certificate for becoming happy.I don&apos;t learn anything from my mistakes.<h2 id="hc8c3777b24">I only should pray for my family&apos;s happiness.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/135a1f6702b248639917accc1c55ac88/pexels-adonyi-foto-1479710.jpg" alt="" width="5330" height="3543"></figure>What is my life for?It&apos;s for my family.To live, to eat, to play and to be happy need my life.So I should use all my money and my time for my family.My value is only it.Have you seen my name&apos;s horoscope? You must have been crying when you saw it.It had already been decided since I was born.I will have various troubles every single day.And I will hurt someone and I will hurt from someone.Anyway, accept my life. I won&apos;t have to be happy.For my life, for important someone.<hr>Accept and forgive your own imperfections. Accept and forgive the imperfections of others.People only learn through failure.

Don't be angry and don't ridiculous

<h2 id="h440014108a">I ran a big risk at work this week.</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/80068df39b694ccf99af27129074dfe8/pexels-download-a-pic-donate-a-buck-8721-48566.jpg" alt="" width="4945" height="3296"></figure>Many systems and all teams were affected by my failure.Some customers and salespersons also were cost their time because they couldn&apos;t do anything.Unfortunately, all responsibilities are to me.There is an old saying in Japan, &quot;The failure is a seed of the success.&quot;Certainly, I think a person who doesn&apos;t make a mistake doesn&apos;t get any success.but ...<h2 id="h12cd5af33c">How should I recover my motivation?</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/50a73586471e46f29ddb8fd2f80c58ba/pexels-andrea-piacquadio-941555.jpg" alt="" width="7680" height="5120"></figure>What if I apologize to everyone?It doesn&apos;t mean anymore.Perhaps time solve this problem some day.I&apos;ll be troubled by another thing after a year.After all, I only wait to forget about it.Whatever I do anywhere and anybody, I&apos;ll have trouble with something all the time.And I&apos;ll continue to dislike my own.

My failure won't change to a chance.

<h2 id="hfebd5b438a">My birthday is almost time</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/ca324127362a4fc7893acbe50c510300/pexels-te-lensfix-380994-1371360.jpg" alt="" width="5472" height="3648"></figure>My birthday is in July.That means this month is.My wife said, &quot;What do you want for your birthday this year?&quot;Honestly, there aren&apos;t many things that I want to buy.I bought an Xbox for my birthday last year by myself. (Not from my wife.)Although I didn&apos;t play games almost every time because I was busy every day.But there are many things that I want to experience.<h2 id="h849fe7b778">To experience list</h2><ul><li>Traveling</li><li>Bouldering</li><li>Driving</li><li>Cosmetic hair removal</li><li>Tatoo</li><li>English conversation lessons</li><li>Programming</li><li>etc</li><li>Investing</li></ul>I have no time.I have to take care of my children.I have to study English more.I have to work for eight hours per day at least.My family also wants free time on holidays.<h2 id="h06ebcb63a4">It&apos;s time to go to bed now</h2><figure><img src="https://images.microcms-assets.io/assets/f0fa4129cb884b1793e2e0125ae7f197/da09c1e5ce9d492ab2a7b6b4b1263e05/pexels-pixabay-371109.jpg" alt="" width="5616" height="3744"></figure>It&apos;s 3:00 a.m. now.I think I can&apos;t deal with this problem.I got a big responsibility as a husband when I got married about 8 years ago.I knew it.So I don&apos;t complain about my situation.I feel my children are cute and my wife is so interesting.I will work hard from tomorrow again.

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